I recently came across this article…
The condensed message is the reminder that you are worth more than to sit at a table of women that would inadvertently make you the topic of conversation once you leave. It briefly touched upon the excuses that it’s just what women do and what we put up with to belong. But let me remind you that those are just that; excuses.
And then came my questions…Why do we think its ok? Why do we continue to go back, to sit there and not seek out better? What makes us see this as the only option or the right one for that matter? Why do we not think we are worth more? We are the only ones that get to determine that, have to find sincerity in that, and wholeheartedly hold onto the undeniable truth that we in fact, are worth more. We are the only ones that hold the power in the here and now and in the future as well.
And what I have learned in my human experience is that if we are not in that place, it’s hard to give that to others…which is what we should be doing. The girl next door winning has no bearing on my ability to succeed…because we are not even in the same race. So, while I might give you a harsh dose of reality if you ask my opinion about something, I am still going to high-five you and tell you that you can do it, whatever it is that you are dreaming about. The reason is that you are the only person that can determine your success and I have no ability to reasonably ascertain your commitment and no measurable superiority to be in charge of judging you. And that goes for everyone.
After going down that reasoning rabbit hole, what resonated with me most was this quote from Brene Brown…
“Our worth cannot be determined nor negotiated by other people.”
And if we break it down it is really just that simple. Your worth is determined by you, no one else. There are people who inherently know this and are willing to sit with you; you just have to find them. Or better yet, be one of them, start your own table where everyone wants to sit because they feel valued even if they don’t yet believe it themselves.
Jennifer Kalista is the face behind In The Moment Restorations offering everything from the likes of design services and paint color recommendations, to custom furniture restoration and handpicked home decor, lifestyle goods, apparel and more.